Dear Chihuahuas With Terrible Clothes,
(You just know this is about to get racy and controversial and some people won’t like it!!!) I’m not scared, though, because a chihuahua could never catch me, especially not one in Chihuahua Uggs.
My hope is that when you read this, you will get your act together. This is for you. I am telling you what nobody else has the courage to tell you.
I’m going to say some pretty horrible things, why not, right?!? But don’t worry I’ll throw in a few jokes about myself to make it seem a little less mean! 🙂 Here’s the deal: Your clothes are terrible and they’re making everybody want to throw up so that the blinding smell literally blinds them!! Sure, I know that sometimes it’s “genetic” but I’m not talking to the genetically unfashionable dogs. I’m talking to those of you who wear whatever you want like you have no basic sense of decency or self control. That sweater should be burned–probably with you still inside it!! Jk jk. Look I’m blonde! See? We all do silly stuff 😉
Mostly, you should be feeling pretty bad about yourselves (now would be a good time to start. There’s no time like NOW!). Don’t worry, this is not “dog fashion shaming” because this is about your health and well-being (and DEFINITELY about all the views I’m gonna get, EY OH). I am saving you. I took a Psych class in high school, so this is it, folks: free counseling courtesy of me (with a side of laughs!).
Making fun of you is easy, but comedy is even easier!!! You guys should try it sometime (but not until you start looking better!).
XOXO,
Nicole
can I just watch Netflix 